It's All Okay

Just a mom blogging about life with an autistic child.

Location: Canada

I'm a stay at home mom with two boys. Patrick is my youngest and has ASD.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I can't wrap my brain around it

It's everywhere. On all the blogs and in chat rooms everywhere. What is it?

Talk about people either wanting to or actually killing their children. OH I'm sorry, is it wrong for me not to use the Autism word in that sentence??? Because of course that makes it much more understandable right???

Are you kidding me? Seriously? I can't even get there in my most fierce nightmares. To hear about a mom on an Autism video who says....IN FRONT OF HER CHILD...that she considered driving off a bridge and killing herself and her daughter but she didn't because of her typical child.

HUH? Someone please explain this to me? This sounds like a seriously mentally unstable woman to me. She needs some serious help, not in raising a child with autism, but with whatever is mentally wrong with her!

Ok, before I get jumped on here let's get one thing straight. It is NOT easy to raise a child on the spectrum. It can be so difficult that you can cry yourself to sleep every night. And my son is only moderate on the spectrum so I get that I don't understand what it is to live with a very low functioning child.

But to kill your kid? Or seriously contemplate it? Or say it in front of them casually like it's nothing?

A child is a child. And killing a child is wrong. There is no excuse and it is not "more understandable" when that child has autism.

I want the world to accept my son for who he is. I want him to be seen as a contributing memeber of society. I do not want the neurotypical world to think he is a burden and that his life is worse than death. These parents do not speak for me or my son!


Anonymous California Girl said...

Dear Mum,

The woman who said that appalling thing in front of her child--unfortunately some people treat ANY child like that.

I was once at a Christmas mom-and-kids lunch where we didn't all know each other, so we asked about each other's kids, ages, etc. One guest (who I didn't know) told the rest of us that her kids were 4 and 5-and-a-half years old, then went on to blithely explain that "I really didn't want to have another so soon, so I was going to get an abortion, but my husband said "That's okay, you don't have to do that, we'll just keep it", and I was relieved because I was SOO nervous about the surgery, even though they say it's safe,..." And she said it while her children were playing in the same room!!!

I was so shocked that I couldn't think of anything to say to this complete stranger, and could only hope the kids were too busy playing to have heard her. Did she really think her 4 year old couldn't understand that "Mom wanted me dead"?

I couldn't wrap my brain around it either.

Thu Aug 10, 10:32:00 PM 2006  
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