It's All Okay

Just a mom blogging about life with an autistic child.

Location: Canada

I'm a stay at home mom with two boys. Patrick is my youngest and has ASD.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

We're still in our own little world around here. Me watching the playoffs (GO SENS GO). Dh working an awful lot. Patrick doing really well in school and at Beavers. Older brother becoming a mouthy 7 yr old. We're thinking of taking the whole family to a sports bar to watch the game tonight. Matthew's started talking with friends at school and is a sens fan and Patrick just loves any hockey....he's already asked if he can play (be still my terrified heart).

I came out of my own family long enough to mourn the tragedy in Virginia. I'm sickened at how autism has been brought up in relation to this massacre and refuse to discuss the ludicrous things I've read. Enough said.

Here's a question. Why do people of authority always lump special needs kids physically in the same group. Patrick is in a lodge at Beavers with another child who has some kind of special needs and it definately involves bad behaviour. I've heard rumours about lack of parenting but that really doesn't factor into my question.

This kid is driving Patrick nuts. Patrick's special needs worker has said he's doing a wonderful job learning how to relate to and be safe around all the other children but this child is just beyond Patrick's scope at this point.

I understand they were both put with the strongest leader. But I'm going to call the head honcho and suggest that it doesn't matter who Patrick's leader is because he has his worker with him to keep him safe. He does not need to be exposed to behaviour he can copy at this point. He also does not deserve to be pushed and poked either. He doesn't know what to do in situations like that and Patrick is a big kid and would definately land on top in an altercation (although he's never been violent I believe if this other child hit him he'd take him down).

Ya know, as an autism parent I feel terrible saying that. I don't want my son excluded because of his autism so why should I be asking them to keep this other child away from mine? I'm hoping that because I'm requesting Patrick be moved and not the other way around that it's not such a terrible thing to ask. Patrick really just can't handle it right now and he has to be my main concern. *sigh*

That kind of leads into something else a friend and I have been discussing. She really believes every child should have a place in school. I agree with her but only to a certain extent. We've always agreed that if Patrick was violent or a danger to other children we would not persue inclusion as an option for him. It just isn't fair to the other children. We would find a special classroom or we would school him at home. We've not had to deal with these behavious so it's a moot point I guess. She was surprised that an autism mom would feel this way. Is my view really that different??


Anonymous Anonymous said...

They lump them b/c they don't know what else to do.... Atleast mine's been taken out of the class with the other one at their school.

Thanks for the post.


Thu Apr 19, 02:05:00 PM 2007  
Blogger Steve said...

We've always had the exact same belief as you; at some point, it doesn't make sense for every child to have a place at school. There are times, especially with anger/physical issues, that it's just not safe for either the SN child or the school at large.

Taking that a step further, I think there are a good # of NT kids who would be much better off not going to "school" but learning a trade or in a very different environment.

Thu Apr 19, 04:05:00 PM 2007  
Blogger chrisd said...

Can you imagine? Of course you wouldn't want your child hurting other kids if that's what they were doing.

Well, maybe I shouldn't say that. There are those (NT) who think their kids don't do anything wrong.


Thu Apr 19, 07:53:00 PM 2007  
Blogger Jonah said...

Inclusion and exclusion should be a case by case decision.
I saw your blog for the first time today and I like it.

Fri Apr 20, 08:29:00 AM 2007  
Blogger Mom without a manual said...

I totally identify with this. We just started a gymnastics class and were encouraged to do a class with some "higher functioning" spectrum kids. It is a class of 3. The other two boys are 7 while my son, JP, is 5.

JP loves the activities but one of our peers is VERY competitive. He proceeds to let everyone know how wonderful he is doing and unfortunately that "JP is doing it wrong". In fact, I would say that this other little boy is perseverating on his competition with JP.

I've been planning to blog my thoughts when I find the time. I just don't know if being with this class is really a benefit for him right now. He is so sensitive and anxious about trying new things. The last thing he needs is this little guy's criticisms!

I haven't blogged it yet because I am over my head in Kindergarten placement/IEP issues. But I wanted to let you know that I understand your concerns all to well!

Mon Apr 23, 08:54:00 PM 2007  

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