Triggers
We all have them. For those on the autism spectrum, however, it seems to be a more intense kind of experience.
I've identified one and, honestly, today, I feel like a genius.
Ok, so maybe it was just that I couldn't see it. These meltdown thingies, the new ones where he seems to be angry and just can't control it, they get worse when I touch him. Here I was thinking I was offering comfort, when really I was escalating the whole thing. Now remember, this child is not normally affected by touch. Actually, he seeks it, bangs into things and people just to get that feeling. So in his every day life he's a "touch seeker".
But, nobody said this had to be logical to me (I bet it makes sense to him). Now that I've figured this out, we're making some progress. We've also decided that when this happens he's to go to his room. I still have to take him there, and sometimes put him back there, but I think it's helping. It's not a time out per se (I've never seen those work anyway) but a place for him to espress his anger without hurting me or his sibling. I also think the small, dim, quiet space helps him to calm himself down.
So if only I could figure out why this 'over' reaction happens sometimes and not others...
I've identified one and, honestly, today, I feel like a genius.
Ok, so maybe it was just that I couldn't see it. These meltdown thingies, the new ones where he seems to be angry and just can't control it, they get worse when I touch him. Here I was thinking I was offering comfort, when really I was escalating the whole thing. Now remember, this child is not normally affected by touch. Actually, he seeks it, bangs into things and people just to get that feeling. So in his every day life he's a "touch seeker".
But, nobody said this had to be logical to me (I bet it makes sense to him). Now that I've figured this out, we're making some progress. We've also decided that when this happens he's to go to his room. I still have to take him there, and sometimes put him back there, but I think it's helping. It's not a time out per se (I've never seen those work anyway) but a place for him to espress his anger without hurting me or his sibling. I also think the small, dim, quiet space helps him to calm himself down.
So if only I could figure out why this 'over' reaction happens sometimes and not others...
posted by mumkeepingsane | 5:34 AM
4 Comments:
Took me yrs to find out that my kid had confined space issues. That included sitting on the stairs, overlooking the living room, watching tv during time-out.
So... don't beat yourself up.
S.
Sounds like m as well. Read all you can about sensory integration disorder. The books and ideas helped us a lot. Sometimes melt downs and aggression are triggered from touch, light, sound, being confined, being forced to communicate and the list goes on. It is like being a detective to figure it all out.
I am so happy you figured out a trigger. You are a mom genius! We all are. Hugs!
Good for you, sounds like one of the "Light bulb" moments we all have with our kids. In my case, I call them my "duh" moments. Hopefully you'll the crack the case on the main issue.
You and me both dearie. One of mine is a 'prop' crasher, but touch him at the wrong moment. Sooo complicated.
Now he's older, he actually 'takes himself off' into a quiet place to recouperate - huge step.
Best wishes
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