Halloween Fun

Patrick went to his brother's Beavers Halloween Party on Wednesday. This was not planned. At 5 pm I get a call from hubby asking if it's a problem if he works late. *sigh* No, not a problem except that he always watches Patrick so I can take Matthew to Beavers.

So the three of us bundle up and get into the truck. We get there, I send Matthew in, and Patrick and I sit down in the foyer to play with some stuff I brought for him. Well, the main leader wanders out and takes him by the hand and we all go in to the party. Patrick was allowed to participate in everything and he was very well behaved. The leader spent a few minutes discussing "beaver rules" with him and then gave him a high five.

What a relief for me. I really thought this would be a catasrophe.

I was already planning to register Patrick when he turned 5 in Feb. and send him with a special needs worker and now I'm totally convinced he will be included in everything and warmly welcomed. What a community!

Update on the bus

Friday we changed some things in Patrick's home time routine to see if we could get him to take the bus without refusal. Of course, we were silly enough to change several things at once so we don't know what did it. But in our defense, we were getting frustrated and needed to see some improvement.

So first, the aid asked Patrick if he wanted to have a seat to himself. She felt he might be crowded by the child who was chosen to sit next to him to keep him in his seat. I can't believe I didn't think of this one since on the way to school there's only a couple of kids on the bus and he sits alone (and stays in his seat). He said yes to this.

She also stopped talking about it during the school day. We felt he might be overwhelmed and possible overloaded by all the "bus talk". This was my idea. I told her he was smart enough to know what we expected at this point and also to know which bus to get on. This was definately a behaviour or regulation issue and not an intelligence one.

Finally, she got him a "bus bag". It's a gift bag with happy faces on it. She chose a train, a yellow car and a book and placed them in the bag. The bag stays on the bus and when Patrick sits on the seat he gets to play with the toys till he gets home. Then he places the bag back next to the driver till the next day. Not only did this relieve possible boredom on the bus but he wants to get on every day! What a super idea.

So our main problem with school has, it seems anyway, been solved. Now I'm going to wade into curriculum and ask them to do certain social and emotionally develpmental stuff with him. Wish me luck!

The newest thing

He's refusing to get on the bus to come home. Well, he's done it three times. The funny thing is, one day he'll hop on and come home no problem. The next he'll just say "Patrick not getting on the bus" and there's nothing they can do about it. So I get the phone call and have to go pick him up.

They aren't doing anything different with him on those days before the refusal. They've tried everything they can think of (and so have I). He knows why I'm sure of it. But since he can't comprehend or answer "why" questions he can't tell us what's going on in his head.

He cries when I come get him even though he wasn't scolded. He knows he should have gotten on the bus. He says he wants to after the bus leaves. He says "Patrick take the brown bus home with K to see mommy who has cookies". Well he doesn't say all that at once but in several phrases kwim?

Ugh, gonna have a conference today to brainstorm and discuss ideas. Kudos to the school for not asking me just to pick him up. They seem focused on getting this to work.

What to do?

This week Patrick has again been melting down after school. Yesterday I couldn't even get him off the bus without physically moving him. I have no idea why. School is going fine. It's possible he's tired but what can I do? How can I help him? He cries and screams and fights for over an hour and neither of us can get anything productive done. Yesterday I had to ask dh to bring supper home cause I wasn't even able to prepare anything.

Help!

vaccinations and ramblings

I know this is stupid. I know I shouldn't worry. But I do.

Let me give some background. When we first had children I really did debate the benefits vs risks of vaccination. I did hours and hours of reading on both sides of the issue. In the end, I decided I couldn't come up with a stong enough case NOT to vaccinate. So, we decided to go ahead with a slightly altered schedule to avoid too many vaccines in one visit.

I've always been uneasy about this subject. It really has nothing to do with mercury(especially because here where I live they were taking thimerisol out of vaccines at the time...my older son who's NT probably did recieve vaccinations with mercury preservative). I just never liked the idea of injecting all that stuff into my kids' bodies and I also worried about the difference between artificial and natural exposure.

Part of the reason we chose to vaccinate was because I have read enough about disease to know that the mortality/morbidity rates before vaccination were insanely high. I did the cost/risk analysis and made my choice.

Here's the deal. He's due for his boosters. Both DPTP-hib and MMR. And I'm freaking out. Even though because of delayed vax I KNOW his autism wasn't caused by this. He showed autistic signs way before he had a vaccination. I just am very anxious. With all the hubbub and discussion on the net about vaccinations I keep questioning my choices. I keep asking myself "did I make a mistake?" and "should I do this?".

We're planning to get them done. One next month and the other in march. It isn't that I'm trying to make a decision or anything. It's just that it's so damn scary!

Oh, and anyone who wants to comment and suggest my son is mercury damaged, when we were first diagnosed in my ignorance I did pay for testing (with two different companies and a DAN doctor) and all his levels are normal.