It's All Okay

Just a mom blogging about life with an autistic child.

Location: Canada

I'm a stay at home mom with two boys. Patrick is my youngest and has ASD.

Monday, December 29, 2008


Patrick is loving it. Older brother is loving it. trying really hard to love it.

It? It is 24 hrs a day, 7 days straight, no plans except to be together. The three of us.


I love my children. I love spending time with them. We read, and cuddle, and play. But, I'm starting to think I'm going to need a break this week. To do what though? Not only do I have to arrage a sitter, but I also have to think of something to do. *sigh*

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas

...Happy Holidays, Happy Chanukah, Happy Winter Solstice, Happy Thursday to everyone.

I've been off the radar...again. Sorry, things are just really tough single-mommy-ing it right now. Hubby was home for a few extra days but is gone again now till mid-January. The good news is that it looks like he'll be home for good sometime in the spring. Yay!

Christmas morning was an unqualified success. Patrick even leaned over to his older brother at one point and calmly said "I'd like to have one of those" and then went back to what he was unwrapping himself. Bless his little heart. There was no crying, no fighting, no excessive greed...they were really quite amazing. Sensory issues did not put up too much of a fight, nor did food ones.

A Christmas miracle for mum and dad! A lovely Christmas. I'm trying not to think about what the next week and a half will be like though till school starts.

P.S. I will update on the school situation in January. We are making positive progress. Some of my bigger issues were actually dealt with before the holidays. Something they have started that is really working is helping him frame his day before he comes home. An EA chats with him while he's getting ready to go for the bus and they talk about things that might have bothered him that day as well as remembering some good stuff. A whole week with this and he's no longer telling me that he has no friends, they won't play with him, he doesn't like school, etc. Yay. The school agreed that if he was feeling this way that something had to change. We did some watching to see if school was really that bad or if it was more a perception issue. Figured out it was a bit of both. So they're already helping him process his day and the teacher has done some in class social exercises with everybody with hopefully some more specific to Patrick social stuff to come in January.

Obviously there's still more to do. And my p.s. has turned into a full post. *grin*

Happy Christmas everybody!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Circle of Friends

I've read about this concept before but never explored it fully. It has come up on my on-going discussions with the school. Has anyone seen it working in a school setting? Anyone with children who are either the 'focus' student or one of the 'supporting' students?

One of Patrick's main issues is social communication. He has a lot of trouble communicating his wants/needs and understanding the wants/needs of his classmates. He has started coming home and saying that his friends don't want to play with him. Well, of course they don't. He's big and strong and rough and while he isn't violent he certainly is not the kid you would choose to play a game with.

I guess my main point is...I don't expect everyone to like him. I don't even expect everyone to say yes when he asks to play (although this is the school rule, you don't exclude anyone). But they do need to address the fact that he needs to be taught how to socialize. It won't work just to throw him on the yard and expect it to work. There needs to be some direct facilitation.

The teacher is going to do some role playing with him and his classmates tomorrow as she says he's not the only one who needs to work on this. I'm pleased with that but I'm wondering if we do need to put together a formal 'circle of friends'. I'm also wondering if, in the beginning at least, we might be better off with a circle of slightly older friends as opposed to his peers. The children in his class this year are, for the most part, well, let's just say they're probably permissively parented...and leave it at that.

I'm not a good linker, but here's a link if you aren't sure what I'm talking about.

Appropriate Play

Who decides what the appropriate way to play with a toy is? Weren't we always, as children, encouraged to use our imaginations? (I believe I may have dangled a participle)

I was talking to a friend who is trying to figure out if there is something 'wrong' with her son. She keeps coming back to autism but, having met the son, I'm not sure that's what it is. Needless to say, she's tired of people saying negative things like "he's not playing with that car appropriately" etc. But these same people fail to give her any positive advice or help her come up with a firm diagnosis. I remember hearing these things all the time. "He's not doing that RIGHT!"

So what is the appropriate way to play with a car? And who decides?

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Tra la la

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes.

Patrick has been sick for a while now with some wierd fever thing. I'm pretty sure it's not the flu and his only other symptoms are headache and stomach pain. So we've been watching him and keeping in touch with his doctor. He seems better today. He was lethargic and that's really not normal for him even when he's sick. But today he's playing with his brother. So whatever it was, hopefully it's on its way now. He keeps asking me why he was poisoned?! Not sure where that came from although I did consider it at the beginning, even though he didn't vomit when he ate.

Still talking to the school. They seemed taken aback when I said the trust was eroded between us. I'm hoping we'll get this figured out next week.

Christmas is hitting our house with a vengance. We've started decorating early (for us) this year. The tree is up and the boys decorated it themselves. It looks....well it looks like kids decorated it. I'll try and get a pic later.

I can't remember if I mentioned that Patrick is in my parent's church Christmas pagent this year. He's learned to sing "O come, O come Emannuel" and he has a few short lines memorized. He's very excited, and actually volunteered without my consent (but how could I say no?).

I feel bad that my posts lately all seem to be updates. I need more time on the computer. Yeah, right!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008


Dh sent me 13 beautiful long stemmed roses from our local florist with a lovely card. He's away now until the middle of December and he was feeling badly that I would be alone on my birthday. They are lovely, and they've made my day.

Another IEP meeting with the school on Thursday. I've been very firm, refused to sign the joke of an IEP they sent home and talked directly to the principal about how the trust is eroded between us and the school. They want me to sign an IEP that only guarantees him 60 minutes of EA time a day, with another chunk of minutes that says "shared between two classes". Um, nope. Sorry. Not going to sign that. They tried to tell me his support would stay the same. Fine, then I want that in writing.

Wish me luck, I feel strong.