It's All Okay

Just a mom blogging about life with an autistic child.

Location: Canada

I'm a stay at home mom with two boys. Patrick is my youngest and has ASD.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Vision and Clarity

I'm off to get contact lenses today. Every couple of years I buy 6 months worth and wear them occasionally. On a daily basis I just can't be fussed but sometimes when I go out I like to ditch the glasses.

Thinking of this today reminded me of the time Patrick broke my glasses. I was really angry. Glasses are so expensive. He didn't just crack the frame, he broke a lense too. I was so, so, upset. Obviously we found a way to replace them. It was all my fault too, I had left them out instead of putting them away when I put my contacts in.

It took me a few days to get perspective on this incident. He didn't set out to break them. He wasn't trying to hurt me or make me angry.

I probably won't express this properly but I'm going to try. This was the end of my anger. I don't get angry AT him any more. It's like a switch flipped. I used to get angry all the time without being able to moderate myself. Slights were seen where they didn't exist. Everything the boys did they were doing "to me". Then after this more. I like the new me much better.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


The communities we live in can be so important. Recently hubby and I were discussing moving. The house we were looking at isn't very far from where we are now...but it would move us out of the school and community we are now a part of.

Patrick is so loved and accepted here. Every day I realize how true that is. The people at the school don't just want to keep him safe and make their lives easier. They want him to be happy. The have an honest need to see him grow, change, and develop. In short, they love him. They see his innate value. They work with us instead of fighting against us. The people in the community know how special he is. He's welcome at the library, the community center, at Beavers, in Swim Lessons, in so many areas.

These were my reasons for not wanting to move. Hubby is trying to understand but, admittedly, doesn't quite get it. He wasn't as involved in getting Patrick settled into school, in all the worrying and planning, or in quite as many of the activities. He thinks, probably rightly so, that we could help Patrick live happily anywhere we go. The problem is, I'm scared. I'm scared to give up all this good for the unknown.

It'll probably be a moot point anyway. The house is probably too expensive and needs a lot of work. It was just a thought. It ended up being a big source of conversation over a number of days. Interesting. Thought provoking. And, I'm hoping, helping my hubby understand a little more about how emotionally invested I end up being in all the little things.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Alive and Well

School's going great. Family stuff is good. Been spending lots of time together (thus my lack of blogging). Hubby and I got out for Ice Cream last night and it was glorious. Then we stopped in and visited a friend. We didn't come home till 11:30!

This weekend is busy. Family, friends, dinner, cottage, and a short day trip. So I'll be back to my good (?) old bloggy self on Monday I hope. I really miss it. I've been trying to pop on and read my favorites while I'm checking my email.

Hi to everyone.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Oh I just have to share

Note (scribbled quickly, not official note) sent home from school...

"Hi Leanne. Patrick is doing so-o-o-o well! Social skills are significantly improved-fine motor-check out the art-he made the line-knew he'd made the "C" backwards but didn't worry about it-he said 'first I need a line'. It's a warm fuzzy feeling to watch him progress."

He drew a line, then printed his name above it. He cut out shapes himself and pasted them on a piece of contruction paper. This is from a teacher he had last year so they're really seeing how much he's growing. It made me feel glowy, kinda like this picture (first day of school). *laughing because I forgot to flip the pic before I posted it....again!*

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Keep meaning to update

Patrick's first day went really well. I even got in to meet with the principal, LST, teachers and EA the morning before he started. We're all on the same page re: seizures and things seem to be set up same as last year re: autism stuff. I like the new LST. She's planning to do some 1 on 1 work with Patrick. She was amazed he was so verbal though and I'm afraid I'll eventually hear the "high functioning" words...which I hate and really don't apply. His deficits just don't happen to have a lot to do with speech (although language is still a problem, mostly receptive). So I think we'll meet to discuss his diagnosis, how he's changed, who he is, etc. I think she needs some background on him since she's new to the school.

Anyhoo, I have first day pics but I'm in a hurry. Dh and I are off for an afternoon alone. I promise to write a lot tomorrow since I'll have some hours alone while the boys are at school (a total of 3.5 hours...I'll probably clean *groan*)

Monday, September 03, 2007

School's in

It's here. Tomorrow morning the bus comes to take older brother away. I have talked with Patrick several times about the fact that he does NOT start tomorrow. He starts on some far away day called friday. It'll be interesting to see what happens.

Older brother (going in to grade 2) gets up himself, dresses himself and makes his own breakfast. Basically I have to watch the clock and send him out the door at the right time. I don't know what that time is though because the bus driver never called (and they normally do). Well, I know around what time he gets picked up so...I'm sure it'll be fine.

Friday will be awesome. Older brother will go in the morning and Patrick will board the bus after lunch. Obviously I need to have the meeting with the school first. I havn't heard from the principal yet. She's normally pretty good about remembering meetings and stuff but I told hubby that if I don't hear from her I'll just show up Friday after Patrick gets on the bus. I won't allow him in school until I've spoken with her, the LST and the teachers.

So, backpacks are packed, shoes are bought, supplies bought and's such an exciting time of year. I have lots of hopes and few worries. I hope Matthew gets a good teacher who can help him catch up in reading. I hope some of his more mature friends are in his class (he's always placed with kids who he can be a good example for, hubby thinks that's unfair to him). I hope Patrick gets the same EA as last year. I hope he doesn't have seizures at school.

My worries are pretty small. I am very lucky.